Existential crisis

If you have been away for a while, and you have looked at your messages and been like   then most of that load of rubbish... is me.
Now, before any of you go "Oh, but Lowland, it's not a load of rubbish" I don't mean rubbish as in the literal sense, I mean rubbish in the "Holy sh*t theres so much stuff in here" ok? I don't think my stuff is rubbish. In fact, each time I look at one of my fav drawings by me I'm like   . Wait... what was I talking about?
Oh yeah...
The titile of this, as you may have noticed, is EXISTENTIAL CRISIS.
I.E,  , ,  , and everything that makes me freak out.
If you have seen Danisnotonfire's existential crisis playlist... I'm going through that sort of thing. But not at the age of 17 or 18, oh no.
I have to go through it at the age of 1-month-to-14 years old.
Genuine.
FML.
WHY ME?!
I mean, I heard what he said. About do what you want with your life, don't let anyone stand in your way and shit, but what bugs me is:
MY TEACHERS SAID NOT TO BOTHER WITH YOUTUBE AS I WILL NEVER GET ANYTHING FROM IT.
BITCH PLEASE.
I CAN DO WHATEVER THE FUCK I LIKE.
AND I WILL GET SOMETHING FROM IT.
FUN.
FRIENDS.
AND FUCKING SUBSCRIBERS.
But then I think...
What if I don't even get that?
What if I never get anywhere with it?
What if I waste my life on a dream that will never come true?
If so,
WHY DO I EXIST???
Any help, or encouragement from you lot is much needed...
Anyway...
I'm going to go eat cookies and play Skate 3.
Maybe the glitches will make me laugh...
Bye all...